My Family Recipe
A Chocolate Cake That Celebrates Mothers—Lost & Found
A reflection on loss and grief—and the untold power of a mother-knows-best birthday cake.
Photo by James Ransom
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54 Comments
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February 23, 2021
Thank you for sharing this touching and encouraging story. I have a guess that the recipe may have come off of a tin of Hershey"s cocoa!
Lisa R.
February 25, 2021
Hi, Robin and thank you. It's so funny: a couple of other people have figured out the great mystery of my mom's chocolate cake recipe as well! Eureka! Thanks again for writing.
babsbnz
January 2, 2021
What a heart-breaking, then heart-warming story. Tears in my eyes at the beginning and hope for the “fairy tale” ending as it proceeded. Thank you so much for sharing your recipe and your story. I’m sure it’s given hope to many.
Lisa R.
January 3, 2021
Thank you for this lovely comment and I do hope that others do take positivity and hope from it, just as you say. Thanks again for writing.
debbie
December 25, 2020
Merry Christmas! I am so touched by your story, so happy for you both. I made 12 different types of cookies for friends and family. I just put the kitchen aid away, but now I can't wait to take it out again and make your chocolate cake for the New Years.
Happy and Healthy New Year!
Debbie from Staten Island
Happy and Healthy New Year!
Debbie from Staten Island
Lisa R.
December 26, 2020
Hi, Debbie and thank you! Wow--you sound like an amazing baker. Congrats on busting out all those cookies. I hope you enjoy the cake, and thanks again.
Karen
December 22, 2020
I was deeply touched by your story. It’s not by coincidence that you were introduced to your now husband. You both had purpose. It’s the longing to share your grief with someone who understands, and to fill the moments of loss with new friendships and giving love where it’s needed. I’m happy for you and your new family. I look forward to making your chocolate cake with whipped cream. May you continue to be blessed.
Karen H.
Karen H.
Lisa R.
December 22, 2020
Thank you for such a thoughtful note, Karen. I appreciate it a lot, and also hope you like the cake.
robin
December 22, 2020
A beautiful story, thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to try your cake recipe.
Sherri H.
December 22, 2020
Thank you for sharing this touching story. I come from a generation of cooks & foodies and food has been our comfort of sharing love. My son, who passed two years ago, followed the family tradition of culinary therapy. I miss his creations starting at age 8 when he discovered, on his own, that quesadillas are much better made with artisan cheese & grilled in browned butter. I try to include his favorites and original recipes often.. Memories keep our loved ones near to our hearts <3
Lisa R.
December 22, 2020
Hi, Sherri. Thank you for the kind words. Please let me say that I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. That is a great anecdote about the quesadillas. Thank you for sharing this with me and others here. I do find that recipes and cooking are such an invaluable way of keeping them close. All the best to you, and again, my sympathies. xo
sylvia
December 22, 2020
Love stories, traditions and food keep us connected to treasured loved ones ... so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
https://rememberingpractices.com/weaving-the-dead-into-ongoing-stories-of-life
https://rememberingpractices.com/weaving-the-dead-into-ongoing-stories-of-life
sylvia
December 22, 2020
Love stories, traditions and food keep us connected to treasured loved ones ...
https://rememberingpractices.com/weaving-the-dead-into-ongoing-stories-of-life/?fbclid=IwAR1qDf5zC9afMe9tJBZKjzMGHFZeCqiL9mb1-xa279OR-pW6vgWxt0KufwM
https://rememberingpractices.com/weaving-the-dead-into-ongoing-stories-of-life/?fbclid=IwAR1qDf5zC9afMe9tJBZKjzMGHFZeCqiL9mb1-xa279OR-pW6vgWxt0KufwM
redheadcanuck
December 21, 2020
I love your story so much...thank you for sharing it! What a heart warming story. All the best to you, Margot and Brodie.
Lisa R.
December 22, 2020
Thank you very much for the kind words and good wishes. We are looking forward to our Merry little three-person Christmas this year :-)
Roberta Z.
December 21, 2020
The world feels so broken right now, but reading your story has made me feel more hopeful. What a blessing it was that the three of you found each other. Thank you for sharing.
Lisa R.
December 21, 2020
Hi, Roberta. Thank you so much for the touching words. Yes, I feel so lucky to have found my special new family, which includes the memories of our lost loves as well. xo
Steph
December 21, 2020
Thank you so much for sharing. I too am a chef and went to the CIA. I lost my sister a couple of months ago and have been grieving terribly for her loss. That was a beautiful.
Lisa R.
December 21, 2020
Hi, Steph. It is nice to meet a fellow CIA grad, and I am so very, very sorry for your loss, which is still so very recent and raw. The first year is so especially hard, especially around the holidays. Just go hour by hour -- minute by minute if necessary -- until it's over. And when the normal (even happy) moments do come, take that brief emotional breath. I am thinking of you and send love. If you ever need anything, please reach out. Again, I am so sorry. xo
TheWimpyVegetarian
December 20, 2020
What a beautiful story. I'm am in tears. Partly because I love this story and how the author writes. Partly because my daughter-in-law, a professionally trained pastry chef who worked at the Fairmont in San Francisco, and later promoted to Head Baker, died in her sleep this week at age 41. She made cakes like this for my grandchildren, and we always looked forward to see what her next creation would be. It was so fun to watch. I think I might attempt this cake and do something fun with it for my grandkids' birthdays this year, once we can actually see them. Thanks for a beautiful story, and thanks for the inspiration.
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